♥L.SHIYI (: -

Saturday, May 31, 2008 Y 12:15 PM

MY REPLYS

After reading what you say, i'm not angry at all. Basically during that afternoon when we went for lunch , i believe you already noticed how we communicate when we are having lunch at fajar , i ask one sentence , you reply once , isn't that obvious enough that you are unhappy about me ? & i will never feel comfortable talking to someone who is unhappy about me. i did notice you are alone when walking back to school, i didn't went up to you because i don't know what to say . And in fact i no longer know what can i do to make you happy anymore . Everybody will change.
not just me. i thank you for trusting me and sharing your problems with me last time , but that is already in the past , and i believe from now on , those happy moments will never happen again. yes , it can still happy with you , yanran , terin & linsay.

i hope we can make a decision , i won't say anything that i am zhong se qing you because in your eyes i am one , and you all already have a mindset , no matter how much i clarify , i believe you all will still think the way you want. i don't know how to prove anymore . if what you see is what you think , maybe sometimes you may be wrong. Actually no point explaining over and over again , because is on how each of you think about me. Is not about the proving part . If you believe that we should just be hi-bye friends from now on , i won't blame anybody , i will learn to accept the fact. Even if i know you all still care , i'm sorry , i find it so hard to smile after so many things had happened. Be it the most cheerful one will wins the support from anybody else , seriously i am sad , very sad , sad to an extent that i can't put up an act infront of anybody. i can't smile. )..= but never mind . If any of you are reading my blog , don't reply anymore , if you wanna reply , sms me and tell me straight .

tata.

Friday, May 30, 2008 Y 7:58 PM

ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Since every single thing , every problems occurs once again . & usually what we say is to " let nature take its course '' , but this type round , no more .
I saw what you all wrote on your blog , and i sense the pain , but i'm not going to do anything anymore because i know i failed in this friendship , i will not try to salvage all this , i will not hate you guys if one day this friendship were to break up.

I seriously had cried a lot ever since the first serious talk at pending that day , liping & yanran will know it . i know who i am in your eyes , and i tried to change , i really do. Maybe till now in your eyes i am still that type of person , i'm sorry , i failed in changing . Nothing will ever be the same after each quarrel . But sometimes people will say if u are willing to accept what others say about you , and be optimistic , everything will turn out to be okay , but sorry i can't.

No matter what happen, you are still my best friend , i won't forget all the fun , all the things we've shared . i won't talk to you the next day after each quarrel because i feel weird , and you know you and me can't sit down and talk things out , we won't do that . And maybe all of us develop this stupid habit of being so zhi jie to each other , perhaps this may be one of the reason of our relationship today. i won't ask for anything , i won't try to salvage anything , because whatever i do is useless .

And to liping , i don't know how much terin and yanran mean to you now. i know i'm not included if you say about best friend. well , i have already tried my best to understand , we are always not in good terms in fact. Be it hate me , dislike me , i'm totally speechless . But i don't always deserve how you treat me when we are after a quarrel . Quarrel takes at least two person to involve , everything takes two hands to clap , so whatever things happen , not only one is at fault , infact is everyone. i decided to leave this group , maybe not sticking with you & yanran , terin , will not create too much troubles . And to yanran , terin , li ping , linsay , everyone who knows me in and out , if you have a bad impression of me , just let it be , because i always turn out to be the bad one , and its really hard to change a person's opinion about yourself.

Since everyone thinks that i don't bother about this friendship ever since i fall in love , i can't change your mindset , i really don't know how to , but seriously i care for every single one of you deep down . I don't show it doesn't mean i don't care . Its four years of friendship , to prevent from anything bad to happen again , i will try my best to leave you guys . i will . i blamed people , i blamed myself too much . Sticking to the guys don't make me feel good everytime , so i will just be alone . i'm tired , everybody is tired . Just talk , lead our own life , and bye.

And if anyone feels that my previous post are talking about you , no i'm not. i am saying about life in general . i am saying about my parents , their life , they work so hard & all this lead them to where they are now. if anybody thinks that i look okay in school or i'm okay . i'm not. Be it they are not close with me , they are still my parents . Who will be happy if their parents committed suicide and left their children in this world as orphans ? who will ? i don't cry in school doesn't mean i don't cry at home and doesn't mean i don't cry when i am outside . i saw someone that resembles them , i start to cry again . How long would it take for the scar to fade away ? in fact parents are the closest to their children , even if its not close physically , In anybody heart , parents are always the most wonderful one. Who will ever understand you ? only you yourself.

TAKECARE!

Labels: broken part of life.

Thursday, May 29, 2008 Y 7:46 PM

JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY =DD
Hello!
lOng day again , had two hours of e maths today , doing test & i'm having serious flu , so i just can't concentrate well , looking for tissues only !
had pizza for lunch , treat by miss ruby , 8 CANADIAN PIZZA weets !
Then my day start to change , i've been thinking through a lot of things during english lesson .

This simple thing just apply to anyone out there , basically i want myself to know that i live for myself & not for others. We don't have to live to satisfy others , somehow it may make you more miserable. Do whatever things you think is right & make you happy will do. Whatever people gonna comment about you , we should not care , in fact every person have their own mouth , & its within our control.

And why are people taking things for granted when he/she knows that they may lose it one day. Anyway only when people lose their loved ones , then they will begin to treasure or regret. i told crappy today , that i don't trust anyone now . But after much explanation , then i realised that is not i don't trust anybody anymore , but its hard.

The society is just so unfair. Who will even care about you when he/she wins all the support from all the surrounding people and even to bother how you feel? Everybody do things just for their own good.Perhaps people will tend to have a selfish nature. I am not abnormal today , but i just wish to lead a new life , a new me. Short term friends & long term friends , i still gonna thank all of you .

Alright , enough of all this. hahaha!
bye readers ! =DD

Labels: i'll always love.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 Y 6:56 PM

LONG DAY =X
Hello!
second day of structured remedial , start the day with social studies , the class just simply don't care about this subject , so almost 3/4 of the class come in as late as 8.30 or 9 , miss kwek is so disappointed lah .! then follow by chem , i don't understand anything man ! i gotta buck up in my science man !
then had english mock exam in the hall from 1 to 5 . full paper. i did everything with my best. pass or fail , i don't know.
Crap man , i hate stepping into the house , full of noises everywhere , make me so headache & make me want to lose my temper , i've tried my very very best to stay happy every single day already . but if things strike into my mind. EVERYTHING JUST GOES WRONG !
tata!

Labels: Just leave me alone

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 Y 7:47 PM

JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY=DD
hEllo!
Just the first day of structured remedial . start with two hours of physics , nothing really goes in.
follow by social studies , nothing goes in again.
But 4 hours of A-maths lesson , i learnt something & today i concentrate man ! though its rare. but i want to pass a maths lah . =D
learn INTEGRATION today , complicated man ! rule here & there , but i manage to handle it , except for trigonometry one , i still can't master the rules.=P
test on thursday again , shall memorise all the fomulars then.
alright.
bye readers !

Monday, May 26, 2008 Y 7:56 PM

MT 'O' LEVEL =X
Hello!
as everybody know , today is o level mt for 2008. actually i don't have much to say , paper one was really a crap to me , i guess i can't do well for paper 1 , but at least i tried my best , was shivering at the beginning , but after a while , i'm not so tense anymore ! =DD
then followed by paper two , i answered every single question, i really don't know how much can i get , not fail but maybe a low grade , that i have to re-take it in november , DAMN IT man!
sigh , nvm , its over .
what can i do?
tata.

Sunday, May 25, 2008 Y 3:50 PM

TOMORROW ! =X
heello! had been studying & memorising for the pass few hours , my mind is all tense up. so decide to blog & rest at the same time. stay at home for the whole day , i slacked in the morning , eat , sleep . then start to do my work at around 1.30 till now . i'll continue after i finish blogging .
Do ten years series & memorised all the bao zhang bao dao's cheng yu , letter format , basically everything. but unfortunately my chen yu dictionary is not with me , so i can't read it & learn from it , DAMN ! )=
later gonna redo all the papers from other schools , see how much i understand from it then i'm done ! still kinda scared , but all i have to do is to try my best to revise & apply everything i've learnt in the past , thats all ~ ! my A , i'm coming !
gonna revise !
all the best to 'O' level mother tongue candidates !
tata.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 Y 9:38 PM

i'm BORED , and i'm AFRAID OF monday ! all the best !

Labels: negative vibrations ?

Friday, May 23, 2008 Y 6:30 PM

2 MORE DAYS TO 'O' LEVEL MT .
Hello!
i blogged exceptionally early today because everybody was told to go back home at 5 , so headed home straight after maths club. two more days to mt. tomorrow no A&E maths remedial , gonna remember as many phrases as possible , hope i can apply it on monday , hahaha!
nothing much about today , started the day with 2+ hours in the hall , listen to all the talks & instructions . then clean classrooms , slacked , consultation , do maths , sleep at scene 1
& headed home ! this is how the sch term ends , anyway there will be only about 2 weeks of breaks for us , STRUCTURED REMEDIAL! science ! BUCK UP MAN! =X
alright.
tata.

Labels: i miss you .

Thursday, May 22, 2008 Y 10:08 PM

PTM + TIRING DAY !
Hello! today is thursday ! last day of intensive mother tongue ! 3 solid hours today , today really can't tahan , keep asking mr hang to have a break , & the class just couldn't concentrate. & i'm so afraid of monday , i gonna memorise as many things as possible during the weekends . =X B3 & ABOVE!
Mr hang gave us an apple today , to wish us good luck on MONDAY & that apple will represent his presence during our examination , he want us to do well!
Alright ! so today had parents teachers meeting ! & i'm regretting for dOing this crap duty ! DO happily also want complain , do with attitude, they complain even more. WTH! & that unreasonable parent ! JUST BULLSHIT ! try to complain & see , who cares about you . =X
i shall not complain much ! this year is gonna end real soon ~ i wish .. God bless , it ends with a smile ! Goodnights!
tata.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 Y 7:51 PM

LALALA~ INTENSIVE MOTHER TONGUE ! =X
Hello!
woooo~ intensive mother tongue revision started out last week . can DIE ! more & more worksheets to do , more & more revision . GCE'O'level mother tongue is this coming MONDAY! God bless ! i want an A2! so started my day with mother tongue , three solid hours of mother tongue before any break , letter writing , worksheets , compo ! * FAINT *
hahaha! i can't believe that i sat down for almost four hours yesterday to finish almost all my homeworks ! =DDD satisfaction! sigh ! Miss Durga is taking over Mrs lim for Geo soon! =X i gonna miss her a lot a lot , i will always miss her teaching ! leave us at this critical period , how could you! ) = nvm.
nOthing much about today actually , just hear laughters everywhere =DD
tata!

Monday, May 19, 2008 Y 1:38 PM

WEST COAST!=DD
Hello! i'm back from west coast with family ! hahaha! not fun , but at least we enjoyed a little . hahaha! was supposed to go there and fly kite , but the kite keep on falling lah! so FAILED !
reach west coast around 9 , find a shaddy place & settled down , wanted to built sand castle , at first succeeded lah , but that naughty lucas hit it all with a stick & obviously it collapse ! =X
i found the highest flying kite & toook a picture of it ! hahaha! then i caught melvin with his family i guess. dont think he saw me ! HAHAHA!
i'm tired lah , & i've got tons of work to finish later , so i gotta rest now !
tata !
photos at random (:

the sunset at clarke quay yesterday =DD

THis cutie named CALEB!

HEHEHEHS , I CAUGHT MELVIN PLAYING THAT TTHINGY

PLAYING sand !

CALEB& LUCAS

Sunday, May 18, 2008 Y 10:48 PM

BEAUTIFUL DAY =DD
Helloh! okay i just got baCk hOme , as what i said in the previous pOst , i went downtown today with that crappy . saw darren at bus stOp . LOL , off we go to bugis , penisula , clarke quay , and many places luh , we just walk A LOT today , but at least we are happy . wanted to meet terin & darren out for dinner , but sadded ! Darren is not able tO cOme out lah .
sO we stay at town area for more than 7 hOurs , went to park , chit chatted . Basically we just walk alot today & i've got BLISTERS ! plus PLASTERS ! ) = in pain man! then
i'm home ! =DD
tata!

i know you are sad & you are facing a lot of problems ;
actually what can we really do to help you , in fact
nobody will understand you more than yourselfs ,
you just gotta be strong & SMILE =DD takecares.

Labels: i love you.

Y 10:51 AM

MORNING =DD
Just wOke up nOt lOng agoO , i've got nothing to pOst yet lah , but i'm going downtown with that Crappy later ! shall enjoy , i'll post when i'm back.
enjoy your day , readers !

Saturday, May 17, 2008 Y 1:38 PM

MOODY+HAPPY DAY?
hello!
yesterday was suppose to go for SPORTS day at woodlands , but non of us went . we met out late in the afternOon at mac to finish our maths revision & slacked at playground.we played & chat so much at that playground , then saw mr Goh with his baby , so cute & chubby ! =DD
went to nearby coffeeshop for their dinner, mood suddenly went down & i don't want to talk about it anymore .
i went home at around 9+ , i cried a little bit , but everything turn out to be quite alright after my shower . i calmed down & didn't think so much , fall asleep after that ! hahaha!
so this morning went to sch at 6+ for A-maths test , mind blanked out when i received the paper , i swear i did study for the test , but i just can't perform well , i dont understand la!
E-maths lesson after A-maths test . worksheet & revise as usual . lunched at fajar , now gonna eat porridge again & off to lala land !
tata!

SHIYI,LIPING&TERIN =DD

SHIYI&TERIN

MY bestiess ( =

THE three Top students in chemistry , squeezing at the front , ASKING for more MARKS

Thursday, May 15, 2008 Y 7:59 PM

ITS ANOTHER DAY =DD
today is wonderful , if i smiles at everyone , i bet nothing bad will happen , whether i'm sad or happy , just smile!
tomorrow is sports day! RIDICULOUS DAY! BOREDOM!
i want to be your first& your last . i love you with all my heart.
tata.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 Y 10:24 PM

I DID SOMETHING TODAY !=DD
hEllo!
i'm back home , though started the day with an lousy mood , but i wish to treat things as normal , & i don't feel like being sad anymore , so be it you hate me or you love me , i'm still gonna smile. (=
after maths club went out to meet liping , teach me A-maths , with much discipline , we manage to finish my A -maths paper 2 today , left with graph only & liping manage to finish most of the chinese questions in the chinese worksheet , hahaha! i did A-maths today , its so unbelievable ! Perhaps if i can't clique with anyone of you , just forgive me & stay happy all the way , its the last year & i wanna get out of this schoool!
okay! tata=DD

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 Y 7:33 PM

PROBLEMS AFTER PROBLEMS!
sigh! i seriously dont understand what is going on . i don't know why " zhong se qing you " this four words always applied to me, what did i really do ? why do you always feel that you are the extra one when i'm with him , whats going on ! i'm sick & tired of it , i dont know what to say anymore . i just need mummy & daddy , i'm not feeling good. )...=
tata.

mummy , daddy , i miss you deep inside ,
i still can't accept it ,
i've been crying for the pass few days.
)=

Monday, May 12, 2008 Y 8:19 PM

FINALLY BACK TO SCHOOL!=DD
hello! wooo, i finally can go back to school , yes its today , 12thmay! hahaha!
i got bored to death at home , finally i can see all my schoolmates & classmates today, seriously i miss them loads luh!
Theres nothing much i can do in class for today , because i didn't take mid-year , so when the class is going through test papers , i can only either sit there and listen or i copy down notes.
if you ask me to concentrate & sit down and study , i can't do it at this moment , i just can't focus , i don't know why. okay , so i attend 1.5 hours of counselling today , i talked a lot , i shared a lot , if i'm not wrong i still got two more sessions to go before everything ends. HAHAHA!
I finished my e-maths homework ! =DD , i stil gotta try out paper 1 for mid year ( mathematics ). A-maths gotta finish by friday , saturday got test ! i can do it man!
alright! tomorrow's gonna be another beautiful day!
tata!MUACKS!

Labels: i love you.

Sunday, May 11, 2008 Y 1:15 PM

HEARTACHES DD=
hello! I gonna stay at home for the whole day today , )=
this morning receive message from M1 , bill EXPLODED! $400+ OMG! its atrocious!
i smsed so muCh when i'm in malaysia , i called , CRAP! SIGH! heartache man! $400 gone!
but at least i can settle the most of the amount. NO MORE SHOPPING FOR ME ! cut down sms ! save save save.
sigh! today is Mother day , yes i did cried . but nevermind. i gonna give Mummy something too.
i miss mummy so suddenly today , sigh ! i'll be okay!
tata.

Labels: i miss you.

Saturday, May 10, 2008 Y 10:27 PM

WONDERFUL DAY ! :DD
Hello! i'm back home !
i went out for 8 hours ; & i'm lovin it.
i don't know how to describe the day & my feelings, we watched " what happens in VEGAS'' .
go & watch it , its VERY nice !
you know & i know. tomorrow i gonna STUDY!
tata! mUacks!

lalala~

P.S iloveyou

Friday, May 9, 2008 Y 5:34 PM

ANOTHER DAY AT HOME :DD
hello!
hahaha! i stayed at home today again , for the whole day! i go out too often recently, yesterday went out with girlfriends to causeway party world to '' destress'' . sing our hearts out ! HAHAHA!
went to IMM together with daya , the free bus from boon lay to IMM , we waited so long lah! in the end spend $5+ take cab to IMM , DAMN!
come back from IMM , can't find the bus to come back , so another 5 bucks GONE!
wasted ! daya was trying to ask the driver to drive faster so that it won't cost so much , so she told me to say this when we board the cab. " uncle , drive faster , gan shi jian ! ''
then on the cab she said " Ai yo , zhen shi de , mei ci meet ren dou late , faster lehh ''
THEN she turn to me and ask " eh shiyi , the cab got go faster ?'' WAHLAO~ she is super LAME luh! hahaha! yeah , so met yandy at boonlay mrt , trained down to causeway , so we HIGH from 3 plus to 6 plus . then headed home.
TODAY i stay at home , but rented DVD to watch , wanted to rent '' AH LONG'' but all rented out. so yandy & me rent " CJ7'' & '' I AM LEGEND ''
NICE man! so i gonna spend my day watching tv , eat & sleep !
wooooots i'm going back on MONDAY !
tata.
daddy, mummy , iloveyou ! :DD

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 Y 9:40 PM

ANOTHER DAY OUT! WOOOTS :DD
hahaha! i had a great day today! i went out to meet girlfriends , chat till 3 pm at daya's house there . Yandy says the AMATHS paper was quite Okay , can pass leh! hahaha! sOoO THEY are just super HIGHHHHH ~ i got the exams paper today , i gonna try them out tomorrow , so maybe i'm not going to vivO =X .
Yandy & me shopped at lot one , we bought heels , then her t-shirts , & COLOUR contact ! HAHAHA! i want it long long time ago! finally i got it ! :DD
we buy it together , no more next time ! i'm not spending money anymore ! i'm saving , today is the last day , once & for all . thats what YANDY say! BULLSHIT+CRAP! hahaha!
but i'm really gonna save lah!
went home quite early today , reached home , bathed , boyfriend was nearby , so went out to meet him for a while . chat & chat NON-STOP! HAHAHA!
i'm super duper happy today! i got what i want , i crapped with girlfriends , i laughed , i shopped ! hahaha.
tata!
daddy,mummy,don't worry;though i look okay , but i'll never forget you! MUACKS!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 Y 9:39 PM

SECOND POST FOR THE DAY :D
Just got back hOme, went Out with boyfriend , keane & Gary to causeway . i was far too bored at home. tomorrow mrs chOo gonna send me all the test papers & i gonna try them out. see where i stand at this point of time. =X . bored !
They brighten up my day, we talked a lot , share a lot & joke a lot.
headed to keat hong area to slack & chat. they send me to house downstairs &
headed home ! :D
tata!

i can't imagine the days without you;& i won't imagine.(=

Y 12:23 PM

AT LEAST I WENT OUT TODAY :DD
Hello!
i changed my blogskin , its ELMO; finally i found one . hahaha!
today is TUESDAY , i still got FIVE more days before i go back tO schoool ! )=
at least this morning is not too bored , i went out with ah ma to market , bought some things , accompany her and went hOme . Then follow sister to the bank , & i just got back hOme . Though didn't go out with friends , at least i WENT OUT . HAHAHA!
i hOpe friday can go out =( , i smsed yanran to ask her about it , she said they are not going out on friday , only saturday ! huhuhu!! i waited so long & yet they not going out, SADDED !
& i'm not racist , MELISSA keep on saying me , she'll be dead when i'm back , always punctured in school! hahaah!!
~~gonna chat with darling later.~~
tata!

Monday, May 5, 2008 Y 10:43 AM

GOOD MORNING;TWO DAYS AT HOME :DD
at least this mOrning rain a lil bit , hahaha! so the weather is much more coooling now.
second day i stay at home , not going out. In fact , i've got nowhere to go , girlfriends&boyfriends are all having exams till thursday , & probably i can only stay at home to either revise on my work or accompany my grandma .
later teachers will be coming over to my house , to see whether i'm okay , and when can i return back to school. They are just soooo worried about me. ]:
i packed my table & all , it look much more neater now. HAHAHA! at least i bother to pack lah.
Friday is gonna be marking day , DAY OUT ! :DD
alright , tv time. daddy,mummy i'll always miss you.
hey readers , remember to cherish whatever you have alrights?
tata.

Sunday, May 4, 2008 Y 3:51 PM

TIRING DAY!
hello! today i'm here early to blog . woke up at 8 in the mOrning , tOday i'm at hOme whole day , i never even step out of my doorstep!miracle man!
i just did a solid TWO HOURS of HOUSEWORK lah , tidy up everything , sweep & mop the floor ! wahhh laoooo~ i'm half DEAD luh , now i understand darling's feeling when he is doing housework !
hahaah! i do housework , once in a century ! woooooooo~ i gotta bath & rest.
tata !

i'll wait for you. ( :

Saturday, May 3, 2008 Y 10:05 PM

ENJOYABLE DAY!
the weather is so FREAKING hot , make me so frastruated in the morning , throwing attitudes everywhere. freak out & dont know what to do.
Planned to go swimming with girlfriends , to de-stress ourselves , so around 1 plus , trained down to chinese garden there to swim . hahaha! & they taught me how to swim , at least i can do it bit by bit ! =P , rented flOat , played lazy river , wanted to play waves , but end up sun tanning , hahaha! cool uh! only for that moment i love the sun. :DD
then headed to lot one , meet all the guys , ate dinner . take basketball then go down to yewtee to play. all the way chat with darling a lot a lot. HAHA! din know we got so much to talk .
then we went home together .
tata!
goodnight.
days are really getting easier & easier for me, i'm learning how to let go of the sorrows & carry on with life. mummy , daddy , MUACKS !

Friday, May 2, 2008 Y 10:46 AM

BAD MORNING !
] : , sighh , i still can't go back to schoooool ! i'm so bored at home luh! i got nothing to do , stay at home makes me think even more , daddy mummy i miss you ! ] :
woke up at 7am today , also no use , nothing tO do , watCh tv , rest until now .
i changed my blog song , [[ : i love this song ! BUBBLEWRAP! hahaha!
gonna meet all my beloveds later [[ : haha! i miss them real loads ! SIX days never see them leh ! today is chinese paper , wish Gary& AoCheng can do well ! heard that Gary says his paper was easy , sure pass . of course lahhh , CLB lehh , its primary school compo , got pictures one okay! HAHAHA! anyway , at least you feel that you can pass lah .
ah ma & ah gong stopped crying already , life still goes on [ :
weather is SUPER DUPER HOT ! whats wrong with the sun ?! SOOOOO HOT!
dehydrate liaOooo.
i gonna rest again , prepare &
out i go!
tata.

Thursday, May 1, 2008 Y 5:43 PM

DAYS AHEAD.
just got back frOm malaysia tO settle sOme things , i'm sad obviously , they left me suddenly , seriously i don't know what to do , but at least i'll still stay strong, i'm not gonna let them down ,
carry on my life with a smile . so anybody out there , please don't worry about me ! ( :
in fact i'm worried about my grandparents , their emotions are still so unstable. & i hope they will be alright soon.
i'll only go back to school next week & i'll really be alright.
i gonna miss them real loads.
tata.