TOMORROW ! is my first paper , english is soooo important lar , x( , hope i can pass my compo , with BROKEN ENGLISH, s0 scaredd that i'll retainn , but of course i will try my best , (: , the pass few days was rather busy with studies , remedialls and running after teachers to clear our doubts x) , physics and chemistry , i want to pass my SCIENCE ! i cant affordd to fail any subjectt x( , revising ? flippinf textbOOk? MEMORISING ? ahhhh ,,, so stresss larrr , dONT wantt to sit on my unlucky chair in schOol , that pOsitionn , hahaha ...
my aims
english : at least a pass (:
E maths : A2
A maths : B3
Chinese : A2
combined science : at least a pass (:
Combined humans: B3
design and tech : at least a pass (:
will wORk reall hardd , and after exams , is FUN TIME ! ((: play like maddd , and throw other things aside , except for HIM ! neverending LOVE for HIM (: , okays i gotta gO revise my englishh nOW , good luckk , and bless me (:


chOOchOO.. wOrk doubly hardd (:

i'm backk from study , finish my e maths homework alr , i manage to finishh it , but just a "blessing" from family , mood was totally pulledd down straightt , how many times are you all going to ask me , ask me after exams , stop pesterinngg me , i am breaking downn , really , i' m soOOOoo tiredd , give me a peaceful life , life is full of up and down , i just cant stand those people who came into my life , and ruin it totally ,never mindd , i am going to stand on my own from now on , NO more relying , i have faith in HIM and thats what i want for now , and score well in my EOY, so other things , chuck it asidee firsst , after EOY then talkk bahh ,, today got back my a maths test paper , 12/40 , atrociouss agaiinn :x , i really dont know why i sOoo super lazy , lazy to studyy , haiix , end year is cOMING, 5 days time , worrieddd x( , i can do well , i will try my best nO matter what , and i got back my geography test paper too , 13/15 ((: , great right ? CLAPSSS ~ hahahaha ((: , gonna revise lill bit nOw,tata ~!

** I leave IT to yoo **

stresseedddd lifee x(

i'm backk from study group alreadyy , today was studyinngg and jokingg for the whole dayy , nothing else , tomorrow is a mondayy againn , and i just dont wishh to see it ,, sighhs , never minnd i am going to face every single day bravelly ((: , i will pull through this exam and everything will be overrr ! YEAHHHH ~~! stressss overr , i will perservere , i got my aims for result alr , heees , very clear in my mindd , what will i wantt , i will try to get it no matter whatt , yupp , nothing much todayy , today was a emo day for cell group , okayy chattiees , tata ~!


** God , lovee yoo ((: **


get riddd

back from churchh , sighhs , not a good day for me , its them again , family , i am so tiredd of everything , sighhs , i hate that person, really hate it , you cause me all these , and i know i dont wish to see you agaiin , i am so tied down by everything , emotionally , mentally , whatever it is , me is me , i am going to change for the better , i am not going to change for anyone , i change for myself , hate me or love me , its all up to you all , i've acceptedd lots of rejections , so one more , or one less , it doesn't matter anymore , because i feel numb , this seems to be my part of life , and still it goes on , i pray and will continue , god , i leave everything to you , i wil do what you told me to , i changed , in ur eyes i changed into badd one , but i know you all cant accept it , slowly you all will know , blame me for all you want , dislike me , its not i dont care , thats all your thinking i cant stop it , so let it be then , i'm really really tiredd , really , i have enoughh of all those hurts , i hate yoo ! ~



** godd , i know what happens today , you always have plans for me in the future , even if they cant accept me , i will change their mindset and i will leave it to you , being a christian is not a crime , its a believe **



SICK

harlo postyy , i'm backkk , today was unusual , i wasn't with them all day long , because she found out i wrote on my blog that i feel neglectedd by them , and her reply was " we got left u out mehhs ? don have what " you feel it this way because you are not the one being neglectedd , so you wont understand how i feel , you all are just having funn , happiness is really what i need , i dont want to hold on to everything which is not necessary , so i playedd hard , i prayedd hardd , but hurtful words was what i get , yes we are close , but that doesn;t mean i wont take every word to heart , i dont know whether is the devil attacking my emotion , i'm lost , and see , whatever happens , i say out my feelings , for sure there is words from you that is pointing at me that i am in wrong , yes i am wrong , but both party are at fault , dont judge , and dont order me too muchh , i am not feeling good x....(( , i know what i should do and i know what i should not do , i know i will concentrate on things that i need to , i know it , so dont use words too hardd , i know you all meant well , but you wouldn't know how much it stab through my heart , sighs , i've learnt my lesson in the pass , so i know what i am doing alr , i dont need harsh advices , just give me time , i need a lot a lot x....(( , i hate being taken for grantedd , everyone hates it , godd , i know u will guide me through the path , i know you will let me know what i should do , your guidance is what i needd , heal my broken pieces x( , today oral , was praying before i go , i speak fluently , i answer well , i know you are there , thanks (:


i need guidance , not hurts x(

today was a longg dayy,, still wondering whether is a bad or a good day , moOd wad really unpredictable , today was told that i neglectedd my girlfriends recently after i acceptedd christ , so SORRY girlfriends ,i've been focusing on godd recentlyy , yupp as from now on, will be focusing on studies , till end year is over , we shall PLAY like nobody buisness , x)) , SENTOSA is a MUST ! woooo ,, today not knowing the reasonn , i feel lost and confusedd , sighh , and now just got the message that cindy suspectedd me and xiong , smsing , den he got discipleship , gosh , so SORRY , and was suppose to fast today , but i break it , noton purpose , because of a sweet , i prayed so muchh , and end up i break the fast , today , theres nothing to be happy about except for knowing some of the chemistry notes (: sighh , i dont know what exactly i want , somehow someway , i feel i am being neglectedd by them , i dont even have a chance to speak and play , hurtful words is what i get , only in class , with fatty and linsay , i was alrightt . exams is coming in one more week , and i havent really settle down yet , suddenly i feel so tiredd , i dont know why , this , cannot care , that , must care , sighh , its controlling my life and i dont like it x( , will continue to pray for breakthrough , and hopefully god will give me an answer , i'm not happy , i dont know what is going on , they are being soo sarcasticc , sighs , i hope all this mixedd feeling will go away soon x( , was struggling and revising maths for the pass previous days , and got a revision test , score was 34/42 , A1 (: claps ~! sighhs still i am controlledd by my mood , tata ~!



** i hope things will be alrigghtts soon , i will hang on , and hope whatever happens , will be solved soon , with YOU , EVERTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY ~! **


i hope to smile continuosly

backk for postingg againn , wahh this two days was so super busy with all my homeworkk and stuff outsidee , ZzZzzz, sooo tireddd , time is running out , count down one more week to end year exam lerhh , hurrhurr x(( , fearrr , this two days have been doing lots and lots of maths worksheett , wahhh , can collapse , againn , we skippedd dance , i manage to finish those homework that i have to pass up tomorrow , greatt , hahaha , today went to celebrate max birthdayy , soo funn , we hang a superr big note of his body , blindfolded himm , and take him to walk around riverwalk , on the note was " i am the most handsome birthday boy , say happy birthday to me " the present for him was a BIBLE ((: , he looks soooo superrr happy , anyway , HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX ((: then a day pass againn , RUNNING OUT OF TIME , this week will be a busy week for me , soooo tireddd , okayy maths time , ((: tata ~!



** lorrdd , things have been going well , thanks for your love and support , i will continue to worship and love you ((: **


tireddd ZZzzZzZ

today my day was fine , (: have D&T erghhh , irritating subjectt , gonna dropp it next year , hahaha , after that was geography , nothing much but about human development , hurrhurr x( , stress then e maths , was doing revision worksheet for the whole week , erghhh , after that was englishh , praticing english passage , fun , can understand the passage , after schhool went for a maths , almost all about logarithms , x) , manage to catch it , sighh , i just still cant settle down and really study hardd , i will ,, i know i can , the last lap of sec 3 , go ! x))



** lordd , i pray for a breakthrough , and pray for wisdom and knowledge come upon me , and i will settle down and prove it , things was going quite fun recently , i hope it remain like this or improve even more , i wishh i can go for every fellowship session , gonna strive hardd and prove , ((: tata ~! **


my targett =p

sighhh x(( today is nt a good day for me , criedd two times because of the scolding i got from home , sighs , i cant really tell out how i feel , just feel very hurt and bad , not trusting me , sighh , i am alr really trying my very best to study hard and prove , all of a sudden , my confidence level just drop , but at least today maths lesson was good , going quite well x) nothing much for today acccept for tears , x(


god , why did u give me a few days of happiness and then took it away again ? i will continue praying , i want to ask for more , i want happiness , i need it urgently , take away all my sorrows and let me move on smoothly , thanks lord, LOVES ~


lowest point

today was fine , just a normal schh day with lesser lessons , sharedd my feeelings with nadz today , sighhs , i just dont know , somehow i'm not really happy today , dont have mood , wondering why ? sighhs , need to finish my maths today , nothing much to post alr , tata ~!



**LORD , bring away all my pains will u ? let me really move on without dragging , all i need is your love , and a smooth journey ((: <33 **


mood swing

back from cellgroup studyinng , no jokes for today , just serious , x( , but in the morning during chemistry lesson , was having real lots of fun , x) , we joke all the way through the two periods , and when mr lee is looking , just act serious , hahaha , in case he change our sits , today was kinda MATHEMATICS day x( , after chemisty was 1pm , then do maths till five , a maths plus e maths , sighhs , can collapse , i just dont get it , i just cant do everything in one day . soooo stressedd larr , but after schh , had fun with zhongping and yan ran , was acting all along , laughh till stomach painn , x) , hahaha , then max and guoyang come and wait for us , ready to go for studying , think thats all , this week is kinda busy and stressseddd , erghhh , god bless ! ((:


** today was as per normal , but yoo are not normall , so long never see your smile , i miss it soooo muchh , dont blame urself anymore , let bygones be bygones , move on okayy ? i'll be behind you supporting you all the way , through rain and shine , hahaha , JIAYOU !! godd , i pray that you can take away everyones pain as soon as possible , let us defeat the devill ! yeahhh !! hahaha **



i'mWORRIED

backk homee (: , got photos but lazy post , sorry =p , today got four free periodds , dont know why i just feel so tiredd and thus fall asleepp , hahaha , linsay never come to sch today , kinda boredd :x , no one play with me at the back gate , so shantini accompany me lorh , after that was english , nothing much then e maths , sigh , about the sector formula , again i just coudn't get it lar , x( , sighs , but nothing much to focus today , after schh , went to meet zhong ping , to polyclinic , she was sickk , hahahaha , then went to the park agaiin , slack till 5 , talk a lot , joke a lot , and then went home till now , kinda boredd , later going to study for maths , having e maths test tomorrow , hope i can make it for study group bahh x( , tata ~!




** hope my lollipop for you has brighten up your day , dont worry , things is going to be fine , i'll continue to pray , lordd , i hope u take away my painn , everyone's painn , let us move on smoothly ((: **



worriedd?

here for possy againn, hahahha , late for postinng , hmm , today school was fine as per normall , didn't went for dance , just dont have da moood to go yet , hmm , nothing much in schh , but just miss them a lots , and receive news from mr koh that tomorrow will have a maths lesson till five , dont have time for gathering again x( , was looking forward to it , but too badd , have to achieve 20 study hours per weekk X) , never go for dance , also never slackk through the three hours , we went home , and come out againn , when to mac and finish up our maths homeworkk . kinda fun x) , revision worksheet haven really finish , hahaha , due on sat , end year is drawing near , blaaaah scary ~ after study went to playground for photo takingg , hahaha , some of da pic that we have , deehhh ., below , hahaha , we even went to the pond and took a videoo , about fishing , FUNNY ! hahaha , was tiredd alr x( , nothing muchh , tata !



** continue to bless me with your love , and i am walking closer to you each and everyday , iLOVEyoo (: , cindy say :" its easy to fall in love , but hard to stay in love , TRUE ! " **




things was fine ((:

Our loves of doing maths ((:

harloo , was backk home and just finish bathing , today was a nice day but tiredd , just sneeze non-stop, dont know why , feeling so terrible and having a bad headache , x( , today had D&T for the first five periodd , slack through and chat lots about chatholic and christian things , x) , after recess is geographyy , boredd :x nearly dozze off , hahaha ! =p , then e maths , got back my circle circle test paper , eeee , atrociouss , 6/25 , gotta take retest at 5.15 , have to wait for mr ong for almost three hours before we can take da test , meanwhile , when to linsay's house , startedd our HOME ECON x)) ,cook rice our own , nuggets , crab meat , hahaha ! fun dayy , laughh through the whole process , nadzirahh down there busy taking photo ((: , went back sch at around 4.50 , test started around 5.25 , think can pass x)) , god blessedd ! sighs , didn't join them for study group because of my results , i just miss them real lots , wedd then can meet again , and tomorrow having dance , dont have the mood to go lorhhs , not really have the mood to face some things which i dont want to see , just hope that life goes on like today , because it was GREAT ! i just want to walk closer to god , know more about him , study hard , play hardd , no MORE SORROWS x))) , hahaha !

**thanks shimin , for consolling me so muchh x) , had conference yesterdayy , was so GREAT ! god , just bless me with your love and everything wil be OKAY . LOVES~**



iLOVEmyGIRLFRIENDS

FATTY NYONYA

my cellgroup , LOVES ~

they look blur and cute <333>

backk from study group alr , so damnn funn , got settle down at around 12.30 and start doing our homework alr , keep doing and doing , till around 2.30 , we stopped for a breakk , and went for a drinkk , zhong ping was having bible studies with cindy x) , yan ran and me started around 3+ to 5+ , then continue doing our workk , manage to finish my homework , except for one more geo worksheet , so tiredd to do , =p , learnt so much today ((: tomorrow sch reopen , going to face more challenges and overcome it !
some of our conversation on the bus
yanran " god is jesus the daddy huhs ?"
zhong ping " erm , god consist of three , holy spirit ,god's son and god's father , ehh dont know , later ask cindy bahh."
me " hahaha "
yanran " then shiyi say god is jesus daddy , anyhow only "
me " ai yahh , i dont know mahh , so i say lorhh "
zhong ping " CONFUSEDD , LATER ask CINDY "






**since no one is perfect , so dont judge others , because u yourself is not perfect too ^^ , u are in the mess of ur life , so why get into relationship when u are in a mess , maybe the other party's life is in a mess too , when both are together , the mess magnify , hahaha, we all are working towards the same goal , was to get closer to jesus , so everythings going to be OKAY ^^ **





another day pass , with smiles

harlo there x) , hahaha ,, was a brand new day again , later going out with zhong ping and friends , study group x)) , yeah ! tomorrow sch reopen alr , stress coming in alr , hahahaha, just hope that everything will go on smoothly , tata ~!((:



god bless me (:

hi there , was backk from church alr , i ACCEPTED CHRIST today 080907 ((: , u live in my heart fr0m n0w 0n , today was fun , bonnd a lot of friendship out from there , everyone understandds how i feel , and they are all helping me to move on (: , not going to look backk , not going to cling on things which was not suppose to . Family continue to scold me , and i'll pray for breakthrough , i'm mixing with friends that is helping me with my studies , i'll prove u all that i can make it.

** everthings' going to be okay , don't have to be scared , everything theres a season , a time to tear , and a time to sew , take courage to do what you want and don't get held back by fear , change my heart (: , be more confident , there is no joy in my circumstances , but theres joy in the purpose of my circumstances , no one is perfect , god is the perfection **
[[ godd , i believe that whatever happens today , tomorrow or the previous days , u always have a plan for me in the future , and i believe in you , AMEN ]]


E457 i love yoo lots , take away my pain lordd

backk home from schh againn . x( , had e maths remedial today , sighhs , got scoldedd , because i talked too muchh , not only me alrightt , blaaah ~ so many other people talking , scold me for what , erghhhh , going service later , forget got cell group meeting at 1 , hahaha , cant make it , so going at 3.30 for service . hahaha ! feel loved there , feel so free and relax , duhh ~~ hahaha~! u messedd up my life , i kickedd u out , i'm nt like yoo , want to have another person then have , now i know all i need is god's love , not any other guys or whatsoever x) . DESPO ~! bleahhhs =p , i LOVE , zhong ping , linsay , nadzirahh fatty , yanran , cindyy , liping , yeewee , jian lei , max , guo yang , alwinn , keane, faris . ((= all by my siddee when i was really d0wn , they help me in piecing back my broken heartt x)) THANKS . gotta go and do my homework againn x( , blaah ,

christ bottom up our tears , and he wont let the psat experiences go to waste (:

backk home, ytd watchedd true love waits , so touching and nice , x) , had a maths today , tiredd , zzz , 7.30 to 9 . msg him ytd night , didn't know he has been lying to me last time , my heart just feel like breaking , sighs , maybe its meant to be brokenn , maybe thats ur way of finding ur true life , maybe i just got into this relationship too deeply , knowing it hurts , i continue to love , but i know soon , it will stop , i dont know if everything i say matter , but just stop being so cruel , heartless , u are hurting me indirectly , dont ask me if i am okay , when i'm not , sighhs , tata ~!


i'mgivingup x(

today wake up at 6.30 , ready to go for a maths , maths whole week , :x , dyingg , process , sometimes can catch what mr koh is talking about , sometimes just cant lar , after that went to liping h0use f0r n00dles , rest and games ! hahaha , g0ing 0ut with yanran and zh0ng ping and 0utside friends later x) , blaahh ...



thanks for accompanying me , ur GREAT ! hmmph , throw u asidee

just back from , a maths , e maths and chem x( , long day , wahh, tiredd :x ! sighs , somehow i still feel the pain , i dont know why , friends around me , say he's nt worth my tears , don cry for him , is it his fault ? i wonder , sighs , i just couldn't understand , why am i like a toy for you to play ? and u " play " it for so long , and u broke my heart into millions pieces , i wonder if i'm sad ? scaredd ? or hate ? sighs , i've been together with u for six months , and i seems to be nth to you , i accept tat anyway , sighs , anyway whatever things which happen , i still got to accept it right ? tats what everyone say . sighs , whatever u say , i dont know how to believe or whether to believe it or not . i want to leave dance , i want to leave SC , i cant stand the sight , and its making my life miserable , i dont know hw to overcome this barrier , i hope i can , u told me u wil change , will u ? can i believe you ? i cant say anything but just to move on , i drag myself , why is it everytime we talk , i just feel like i am a piece of junk to you ? dont u know u are adding salt onto my wound , u care ? u sure u care ? sighs , like then care , don like then don care , break and piece back , break and piece back , some many crack lines , somehow i feel like avoiding each and everyday , time still continue to move , i hate it ! i cant control , sighs, x( tata !



u ruin it

Things are not going fine for me , i'm so stressedd up , i flungedd my exams , i did badly , i promised i will do well for end year , i really need time , i need time to forget everything and start afresh , dont force me will you ? haix ): , i hate school , i dont like , i want to be okay , stop crying , i want to stop crying , stop giving the internal hurt , i cry a lot , i manage to smile in the day , at night , i teared again , nobody cares ,i'm all alone , and forever it will be , i'm so mixedd , i dont know what i want , i just want to end it all , i have enough of whatever things i have to go throughh , i 'll solve them , give me time , please , i'm not expecting anything now , but just peace and nothing happen , i don't want to feel the pain at home as well as in school , i look fine outside , i 'm bleeding deeply inside , no ones sees it , i didn't say i am the most pathetic one in the whole world , i just need time to adapt to this new life of mine, its gonna be forever , i have to make decision , i got to plan for everything , i manage to step out , don push me down then make me drown again , i wont be able to take it )):


is this life ?